My dad sent me this article: http://www.newsweek.com/id/67847/page/1
It's titled: The Death of Social Mobility
I really enjoyed reading it - and I'm starting to find myself in a position where I simultaneously take in content while reading for structure. It's kind of cool!
Here's what I wrote back to my dad:
It's a sad state of affairs when college graduates are sweeping the streets and selling cosmetics because there are actually no jobs available. It seems like a waste of an education. But at the same time, there must be social divisions for a society to function. It's basic economics: a group specializes in the good/service in which it has a comparative advantage. An all middle class society will still have it's upper and lower classes, which are inevitable split by education and performs its task for society.
I'm surprised that the reporter didn't talk about emigration from these countries; or, for that matter, immigration into the "tigers" which definitely looked like the goldmine for economically-ambitious adventurers. I guess I think it's relevant to talk about international mobility along with social mobility. But that's also another can of worms that goes crazy when opened - just look at my SIP :)
Still, it was very informative, well researched, and well written.
Nice work, George Wehrfritz!
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Assignment after a series of in-class press conferences. Here's my revised version:
FIRE IN OAKWOOD KILLS CHILD
By Sakhi Vyas
Following the 2:10 a.m. phone call to the fire department, firefighters arrived on the scene and found that the seven of the ten tenants had escaped the fire. Kalamazoo Fire Department’s Sam Walshe of Company 4 and James O’Brian of Company 2 pulled out the three children trapped on the second floor of the building, according to Clarksen. Tiffany Blanchard, 3, and her brothers Tory, 5, and Terry, 6, were taken to
Marie Blanchard, one of the tenants, is believed to have been the target of arson by an estranged boyfriend, Vincent DeNofrio, 33, of Mattawan, said Lt. Regina Santarpio.
In violation of city codes, smoke detectors were not found in the duplex. Approximately $250,000 in damages resulted from the fire, according to the Fire Department. Further investigation of the cause of fire is in progress under Fire Marshall Sam Johnson.
--xxx--
Monday, November 5, 2007
African farming neglected by the World Bank... click here:
So, this was a really interesting article, because in the first line, the author writes: The World Bank, financed by rich nations to reduce poverty in poor ones...
The first line gives it away - the World Bank tries to help reduce poverty, but it's financed by the rich nations who have a say in where the help is distributed. I wonder what the author's purpose was in including that statement. Is Celia Dugger saying that it's because of the said "rich nations" that African farming has been neglected? Or is she just being really thorough and explaining the distribution of funds by noting from whom the WB gets its funding?
Talking about the new president and his goals for Africa was a good pull up from that. The evaluation probably deserved some more breakdown. What exactly did it say? And why is Professor Sachs calling it “a blistering, devastating critique”?
It's a good article, but the title and initial information were a bit too drastic without much support. Towards the end, I found that some of the quotes and other information could have taken the piece in a different direction.
Still, it was good to read.
So, this was a really interesting article, because in the first line, the author writes: The World Bank, financed by rich nations to reduce poverty in poor ones...
The first line gives it away - the World Bank tries to help reduce poverty, but it's financed by the rich nations who have a say in where the help is distributed. I wonder what the author's purpose was in including that statement. Is Celia Dugger saying that it's because of the said "rich nations" that African farming has been neglected? Or is she just being really thorough and explaining the distribution of funds by noting from whom the WB gets its funding?
Talking about the new president and his goals for Africa was a good pull up from that. The evaluation probably deserved some more breakdown. What exactly did it say? And why is Professor Sachs calling it “a blistering, devastating critique”?
It's a good article, but the title and initial information were a bit too drastic without much support. Towards the end, I found that some of the quotes and other information could have taken the piece in a different direction.
Still, it was good to read.
So, the assignment for tomorrow is to find a feature article and write about it in here. I've chosen one from last Tuesday's Science Times - look here for the full article, or copy/paste the following link: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/30/science/30angi.html
So, this is really a fun article. It's part narrative and part human-interest profile, while also addressing the issue of science education in high school.
The author starts by asking the reader some questions that students in the class under profile have probably answered - and likely, these are questions that most audiences will have to think about seriously before arriving at an answer. After that introduction to the feature, she goes on to talk about the state of science education according to authorities such as the American Institute of Physics. She even answers the questions posed at the beginning of the piece.
Then, she goes into the real feature part of the piece with some narrative writing that really puts the reader into the classroom. The white lab coat seems to be the author's favorite visual reference, as it comes up numerous times and is also a key part of both photos next to the article. That's a good technique - every time I read about the lab coat, I imagined high schoolers getting dressed for class, just like she described earlier in the piece. The image tied it all together.
Towards the end of the piece, the teacher is profiled - her background and motivation/thoughts on teaching. This is a nice part, because it gives the piece a more personal feel. Then, the kicker at end quotes a professor of physics and astronomy at Rice University, who nicely sums up the learning philosophy of the class being profiled.
I think it was a nicely put together piece. I might have spoken with some of the students (aside from the one really short, kind-of insignificant quote), or maybe former students of this teacher to get their thoughts. Other than that, I think it was a strong feature: it was written with some punch (Marin's word) and great verbs and descriptors: Ms. Cascio, 57, is a law of motion herself; natty new lab jackets; dipsticking etc. I also thought that the scene of a high school science lab was well set up, but not overdone. The questions posed in the beginning of the piece served as strong grabbers, because it's only halfway into the feature that you can find the answers. Finally, the piece to a variety of audiences, which is, perhaps, one of the most important aspects of this feature.
Nice work, Natalie Angier!
So, this is really a fun article. It's part narrative and part human-interest profile, while also addressing the issue of science education in high school.
The author starts by asking the reader some questions that students in the class under profile have probably answered - and likely, these are questions that most audiences will have to think about seriously before arriving at an answer. After that introduction to the feature, she goes on to talk about the state of science education according to authorities such as the American Institute of Physics. She even answers the questions posed at the beginning of the piece.
Then, she goes into the real feature part of the piece with some narrative writing that really puts the reader into the classroom. The white lab coat seems to be the author's favorite visual reference, as it comes up numerous times and is also a key part of both photos next to the article. That's a good technique - every time I read about the lab coat, I imagined high schoolers getting dressed for class, just like she described earlier in the piece. The image tied it all together.
Towards the end of the piece, the teacher is profiled - her background and motivation/thoughts on teaching. This is a nice part, because it gives the piece a more personal feel. Then, the kicker at end quotes a professor of physics and astronomy at Rice University, who nicely sums up the learning philosophy of the class being profiled.
I think it was a nicely put together piece. I might have spoken with some of the students (aside from the one really short, kind-of insignificant quote), or maybe former students of this teacher to get their thoughts. Other than that, I think it was a strong feature: it was written with some punch (Marin's word) and great verbs and descriptors: Ms. Cascio, 57, is a law of motion herself; natty new lab jackets; dipsticking etc. I also thought that the scene of a high school science lab was well set up, but not overdone. The questions posed in the beginning of the piece served as strong grabbers, because it's only halfway into the feature that you can find the answers. Finally, the piece to a variety of audiences, which is, perhaps, one of the most important aspects of this feature.
Nice work, Natalie Angier!
Friday, November 2, 2007
This was the first assignment of the class. We had to write a piece without using adjectives or adverbs. After spending some time in the writing center, I found out that the purpose was to find strong verbs that can stand alone without requiring descriptive words. I still ended up using some adj/adv but, here’s a revised version of my piece.
Wickford Drive
My house is at
Light darts across the sky before it warms the road. School bus wheels rumble too early as children race toward their “cheesewagon” (the bus). Chipmunks dodge cars on the quest for breakfast. Birds hover over the Peach Tree and settle inside. The squirrels drive them out. Rabbits scamper to and fro, but the cat strays in and out at his leisure. Wheelbarrows cross to trade firewood; wagons clatter by delivering Girl Scout Cookies and tins of popcorn. Neighbors import and export flowers, vegetables, baked goods, cups of milk and sugar, sympathy, birthday greetings, picnic, baby-sitters, and goodwill.
Roller-skates crunch over stones while roller-blades skim the concrete. Bicyclers train hamstrings and quadriceps on the incline by
Dads and children foam up the care and then hose it down, leaving rivers in the gutter. A truck croons melodies while delivering ice cream. Families piled into cars travel through
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Here's an obituary that we're writing after a fake press conference in class last Tuesday. This is the revised version.
KALAMAZOO NAVAL HERO AND FIREFIGHTER DIES
By Sakhi Vyas
KALAMAZOO, Mich. -- Local naval hero, Jeffrey R. Ahson, 79, died of emphysema last night at his home in Kalamazoo.
Mr. Ahson served during World War II as a petty officer in the Navy, said Lt. Cmdr. Jeraldine Fyfe. He was assigned aboard the USS Emery during the Battle of Midway in 1942. During the course of the battle, he crossed a burning deck, removed four wounded soldiers, and removed the body of a gunner before taking over the gunner's position and shooting down three enemy planes. For this, he was awarded the Purple Heart, Navy Cross, and was promoted to the rank of ensign, according to Lt. Cmdr. Fyfe.
Born in Chico, Calif., he moved to Kalamazoo in 1946 after his time with the Navy. Mr. Ahson was locally known as a firefighter. He and other firefighters restored antique fire trucks as a hobby and then drove the trucks to locals schools. A 1924 fire truck restored by Mr. Ahson and other firefighters is on permanent display at the Kalamazoo Valley Museum. Mr. Ahson served as a firefighter until 1966 when he joined Don Seelye Ford until 1985.
He also served as Post Commander of the American Legion Post 702 and VFW Post 4206. He was also a member of the Elks Lodge, National Checkers Association, and Gideons International. Parish members know him as an usher at the John Calvin Presbyterian Church.
Mr. Ahson is survived by his wife, Theresa Alpert; three children; five grandchildren; and five great-grandchildren.
Services will be held at Littleton Mortuary at 10:00 a.m. Saturday followed immediately by the burial at Memorial Park Cemetery. Viewings will be held at the Mortuary on Friday between 4:00-5:30 p.m. and 7:30-9:00 p.m. The family requests no flowers.
KALAMAZOO NAVAL HERO AND FIREFIGHTER DIES
By Sakhi Vyas
KALAMAZOO, Mich. -- Local naval hero, Jeffrey R. Ahson, 79, died of emphysema last night at his home in Kalamazoo.
Mr. Ahson served during World War II as a petty officer in the Navy, said Lt. Cmdr. Jeraldine Fyfe. He was assigned aboard the USS Emery during the Battle of Midway in 1942. During the course of the battle, he crossed a burning deck, removed four wounded soldiers, and removed the body of a gunner before taking over the gunner's position and shooting down three enemy planes. For this, he was awarded the Purple Heart, Navy Cross, and was promoted to the rank of ensign, according to Lt. Cmdr. Fyfe.
Born in Chico, Calif., he moved to Kalamazoo in 1946 after his time with the Navy. Mr. Ahson was locally known as a firefighter. He and other firefighters restored antique fire trucks as a hobby and then drove the trucks to locals schools. A 1924 fire truck restored by Mr. Ahson and other firefighters is on permanent display at the Kalamazoo Valley Museum. Mr. Ahson served as a firefighter until 1966 when he joined Don Seelye Ford until 1985.
He also served as Post Commander of the American Legion Post 702 and VFW Post 4206. He was also a member of the Elks Lodge, National Checkers Association, and Gideons International. Parish members know him as an usher at the John Calvin Presbyterian Church.
Mr. Ahson is survived by his wife, Theresa Alpert; three children; five grandchildren; and five great-grandchildren.
Services will be held at Littleton Mortuary at 10:00 a.m. Saturday followed immediately by the burial at Memorial Park Cemetery. Viewings will be held at the Mortuary on Friday between 4:00-5:30 p.m. and 7:30-9:00 p.m. The family requests no flowers.
-xxx-
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I just want to reflect quickly on our assignment from Tuesday. We had a "press conference" in class with Lt. Cmdr. Jeraldine Fyfe (aka. Prof Heinritz) and it was really cool!
We had to write a fake obituary on a local soldier who died at his home in Kalamazoo yesterday. I had a great time with the whole experience, because it was both realistic and yet so unlikely.
Real, because we had a 20 minutes conference where she talked, I scribbled like mad, and then proceeded to write an article on a deadline. Towards the last few minutes, I was so hyper and jittery (though it might have been because of the extremely strong coffee that I'd made before class). But I imagine that a real journalist's heart must race 1000 miles a second during those last few moments before deadline.
The whole experience was also extremely unreal. First of all, my classmates and I were technically all journalists striving to write the best article for our respective papers. But, instead of competing and being stealthy about our information, a small group of us sat down at the row of computers on the second floor of the library and were talking/laughing/sharing information for the remainder of the time. I'm not sure that is entirely allowed and I know it's definitely not an accurate re-creation of a typical journalist's experience. But it was so sweet to be part of that group. We spelled out names, honorific titles, ships, battles, AP technicalities, capital and lower case letters, and even punctuation for each other. Our camaraderie in this assignment was a really beautiful thing to observe and be part of. Especially because we're students and I don't think that we necessarily face the competition that real, working people do on a day to day basis. I don't really know the reasons or psychology behind that, but I just thought that was a very refreshing class period.
ok if any of my classmates are reading this, I'll see you all in 9 hours. Go to sleep soon :)
We had to write a fake obituary on a local soldier who died at his home in Kalamazoo yesterday. I had a great time with the whole experience, because it was both realistic and yet so unlikely.
Real, because we had a 20 minutes conference where she talked, I scribbled like mad, and then proceeded to write an article on a deadline. Towards the last few minutes, I was so hyper and jittery (though it might have been because of the extremely strong coffee that I'd made before class). But I imagine that a real journalist's heart must race 1000 miles a second during those last few moments before deadline.
The whole experience was also extremely unreal. First of all, my classmates and I were technically all journalists striving to write the best article for our respective papers. But, instead of competing and being stealthy about our information, a small group of us sat down at the row of computers on the second floor of the library and were talking/laughing/sharing information for the remainder of the time. I'm not sure that is entirely allowed and I know it's definitely not an accurate re-creation of a typical journalist's experience. But it was so sweet to be part of that group. We spelled out names, honorific titles, ships, battles, AP technicalities, capital and lower case letters, and even punctuation for each other. Our camaraderie in this assignment was a really beautiful thing to observe and be part of. Especially because we're students and I don't think that we necessarily face the competition that real, working people do on a day to day basis. I don't really know the reasons or psychology behind that, but I just thought that was a very refreshing class period.
ok if any of my classmates are reading this, I'll see you all in 9 hours. Go to sleep soon :)
Monday, October 15, 2007
Another great article that I read recently and have definitely been mulling over: click here
Thomas Friedman's latest article about Generation Q has got my mind running! I don't think I can handle analyzing the writing without putting in some of my own opinions on the content. Anyways, here goes:
I loved the core of his lede: "...the more I am around this generation of college students, the more I am both baffled and impressed"
This sentence appeals to a great variety of audiences. The contradiction between being baffled and impressed raises some skepticism and curiosity for students about whom he is writing as well as the parent generation and even grandparent generation who probably have similar feelings. He explains nicely in the next line:
"I am impressed because they are so much more optimistic and idealistic than they should be. I am baffled because they are so much less radical and politically engaged than they need to be."
To be honest, I'm not sure if I am flattered by my generation's optimism or offended by his perception of our apathy toward social and political activism.
First, he flatters us:
He talks about our involvement as students and young people in the workforce in the wake of September 11th and its subsequent events. His discussion of increased travel for my generation, particularly in the dimension of study abroad appealed to me. As a Kalamazoo College student among the 86% of my peers who studied abroad, I definitely support his mention of intercultural understanding as a crucial aspect for the future.
He also addresses my generation's enthusiasm for volunteer work. Perhaps it is in this light of "diving deeper than ever" that my generation strives for personal satisfaction in our work rather than fame and glory. Programs like "Teach for America" and Peace Corps are, like he said, increasingly popular - I see it in my own college's daily campus announcements.
I suppose that after those notes, he is justified in referring to us as "Generation Q - the Quiet Americans, in the best sense of that term, quietly pursuing their idealism, at home and abroad." Beautifully written - I do feel a sense of pride to be referred to as one such Generation Q-er.
I also understand his following argument of GenQ as too quiet and too online for our own good. We have been raised under the notion that everything can happen with just the press of a button in an increasingly wireless world; my generation faces serious potential to fall into the trap of living solely through a screen and keyboard. And as a personal observation, too many students have already begun "plugging out of life" as quoted by a friend of mine. Initially, the phrase was in reference to the newest iPod or other small gadget which allows one to become absorbed in something other than real life. It seems that my generation is definitely taking the quiet path, partly because we are marching to the beat of a different drum from our earbuds.
Friedman suggests that GenQ "would be doing itself a favor, and America a favor, if it demanded from every candidate that comes on campus to answer three questions: What is your plan for mitigating climate change? What is your plan for reforming Social Security? What is your plan for dealing with the deficit - so we all won't be working for China in 20 years?" It's a good suggestion for us to be so demanding. His references to GenQ e-mailing and mouse clicking our way into politics are frightening. But I wonder to what credibility we sign on to such online petitions that supposedly save the world.
Friedman concluded by reverting back to his original scene of college campus visits. A statue is what impressed him most. I really liked the symbolism of that. The substance of this statue is so dynamically different from any sort of online Google or Wikipedia article that tells the story of a courageous man. Under this conclusion, I can see that Friedman's ideas fall with the solid forms of courage and confidence in students - exactly that which is praised us for earlier in the piece.
There is substance to the power of that statue. So, when he praises us for our quiet convictions in humanitarian work and grassroots passions, he is trying to stimulate my generation to get involved in tried and true ways of changing the world.
Another great article by Thomas Friedman - thanks!
For more reflections, check out the responses that followed Sunday's publication of this article by clicking here.
Thomas Friedman's latest article about Generation Q has got my mind running! I don't think I can handle analyzing the writing without putting in some of my own opinions on the content. Anyways, here goes:
I loved the core of his lede: "...the more I am around this generation of college students, the more I am both baffled and impressed"
This sentence appeals to a great variety of audiences. The contradiction between being baffled and impressed raises some skepticism and curiosity for students about whom he is writing as well as the parent generation and even grandparent generation who probably have similar feelings. He explains nicely in the next line:
"I am impressed because they are so much more optimistic and idealistic than they should be. I am baffled because they are so much less radical and politically engaged than they need to be."
To be honest, I'm not sure if I am flattered by my generation's optimism or offended by his perception of our apathy toward social and political activism.
First, he flatters us:
He talks about our involvement as students and young people in the workforce in the wake of September 11th and its subsequent events. His discussion of increased travel for my generation, particularly in the dimension of study abroad appealed to me. As a Kalamazoo College student among the 86% of my peers who studied abroad, I definitely support his mention of intercultural understanding as a crucial aspect for the future.
He also addresses my generation's enthusiasm for volunteer work. Perhaps it is in this light of "diving deeper than ever" that my generation strives for personal satisfaction in our work rather than fame and glory. Programs like "Teach for America" and Peace Corps are, like he said, increasingly popular - I see it in my own college's daily campus announcements.
I suppose that after those notes, he is justified in referring to us as "Generation Q - the Quiet Americans, in the best sense of that term, quietly pursuing their idealism, at home and abroad." Beautifully written - I do feel a sense of pride to be referred to as one such Generation Q-er.
I also understand his following argument of GenQ as too quiet and too online for our own good. We have been raised under the notion that everything can happen with just the press of a button in an increasingly wireless world; my generation faces serious potential to fall into the trap of living solely through a screen and keyboard. And as a personal observation, too many students have already begun "plugging out of life" as quoted by a friend of mine. Initially, the phrase was in reference to the newest iPod or other small gadget which allows one to become absorbed in something other than real life. It seems that my generation is definitely taking the quiet path, partly because we are marching to the beat of a different drum from our earbuds.
Friedman suggests that GenQ "would be doing itself a favor, and America a favor, if it demanded from every candidate that comes on campus to answer three questions: What is your plan for mitigating climate change? What is your plan for reforming Social Security? What is your plan for dealing with the deficit - so we all won't be working for China in 20 years?" It's a good suggestion for us to be so demanding. His references to GenQ e-mailing and mouse clicking our way into politics are frightening. But I wonder to what credibility we sign on to such online petitions that supposedly save the world.
Friedman concluded by reverting back to his original scene of college campus visits. A statue is what impressed him most. I really liked the symbolism of that. The substance of this statue is so dynamically different from any sort of online Google or Wikipedia article that tells the story of a courageous man. Under this conclusion, I can see that Friedman's ideas fall with the solid forms of courage and confidence in students - exactly that which is praised us for earlier in the piece.
There is substance to the power of that statue. So, when he praises us for our quiet convictions in humanitarian work and grassroots passions, he is trying to stimulate my generation to get involved in tried and true ways of changing the world.
Another great article by Thomas Friedman - thanks!
For more reflections, check out the responses that followed Sunday's publication of this article by clicking here.
So, this next assignment concerns obituaries. Discussing the process of writing obituaries in class was rather strange. In the end, it is a journalist's responsibility to sum up a life and accurately portray it to all audiences. That's a lot of pressure! On top of which, while it's easy to skim over these important pieces while reading the paper, writing one out is extremely draining.
I read an extremely well-written obituary in the New York Times online today. Werner von Trapp died yesterday at his home in Waitsfield, VT at the age of 91. died Click here for the link.
Here's what I thought:
The introduction was well placed. I was a little bit skeptical about the numerous mentions at "The Sound of Music" and his relation to the movie. However, I realize that in such a widely read newspaper, the obituary should open his lifestory to the widest of audiences. I guess I don't know if a characterized depiction of his early life should be one of the main focuses. In a more personal paper, though, I'm sure that his personal lifestory is highlighted.
The next parts of the obituary talk about his achievements, mostly centered around his musical interests, though his time with the US Army during WWII is also highlighted.
Overall, it was a nicely written obituary.
I read an extremely well-written obituary in the New York Times online today. Werner von Trapp died yesterday at his home in Waitsfield, VT at the age of 91. died Click here for the link.
Here's what I thought:
The introduction was well placed. I was a little bit skeptical about the numerous mentions at "The Sound of Music" and his relation to the movie. However, I realize that in such a widely read newspaper, the obituary should open his lifestory to the widest of audiences. I guess I don't know if a characterized depiction of his early life should be one of the main focuses. In a more personal paper, though, I'm sure that his personal lifestory is highlighted.
The next parts of the obituary talk about his achievements, mostly centered around his musical interests, though his time with the US Army during WWII is also highlighted.
Overall, it was a nicely written obituary.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Inverted Pyramid Exercise
Page 181, exercise 1 of Rich:
Summary Lead
Backup (quotes and facts)
Supporting Points
Ending
Potential connections with cancer led to a ban on the use of hand-held radar guns by Connecticut State Police, yesterday, in Meriden, Conn.
The ban was ordered as a precaution following concerns that troopers could develop cancer from long-term exposure to radiation waves emitted by the radar guns. The ban was implemented two months after three municipal police officers in Connecticut filed workers' compensation claims relating cancer to the use of the hand-held radar guns currently under investigation.
The ban will withdraw 70 devices, while state troopers continue to utilize radar units with transmitters mounted on the outside of their cruisers.
"The feeling here is to err on the side of caution until more is known about the issue," said Adam Berluti, state police spokesman. "The whole situation is under review."
Ok, so a few things. I realize now that I didn't cite a source in the summary lede. I think it should be ok, since I am talking about the State Police department (which is a pretty official thing). Yes?
Also, I decided to start out by answering the "why" rather than the who/what/where. I think that focusing heavily on the cancer claim opens the article to a wider range of audiences, not just those directly involved with or related to Connecticut State Troopers. It might even spark other concerns about what other transmitters may/may not link with cancer down the road.
Finally, the whole article seems to be weighed down by possibilities, which I think is a safe bet. I introduce with "Potential connections" and end with the whole situation "under review" which implies that there may or may not be a problem, but if so, it is getting taken care of. There isn't a real sense of urgency, but more of concern. I don't know that this would necessarily be a lede story, but it's still very relevant.
Summary Lead
Backup (quotes and facts)
Supporting Points
Ending
Potential connections with cancer led to a ban on the use of hand-held radar guns by Connecticut State Police, yesterday, in Meriden, Conn.
The ban was ordered as a precaution following concerns that troopers could develop cancer from long-term exposure to radiation waves emitted by the radar guns. The ban was implemented two months after three municipal police officers in Connecticut filed workers' compensation claims relating cancer to the use of the hand-held radar guns currently under investigation.
The ban will withdraw 70 devices, while state troopers continue to utilize radar units with transmitters mounted on the outside of their cruisers.
"The feeling here is to err on the side of caution until more is known about the issue," said Adam Berluti, state police spokesman. "The whole situation is under review."
Ok, so a few things. I realize now that I didn't cite a source in the summary lede. I think it should be ok, since I am talking about the State Police department (which is a pretty official thing). Yes?
Also, I decided to start out by answering the "why" rather than the who/what/where. I think that focusing heavily on the cancer claim opens the article to a wider range of audiences, not just those directly involved with or related to Connecticut State Troopers. It might even spark other concerns about what other transmitters may/may not link with cancer down the road.
Finally, the whole article seems to be weighed down by possibilities, which I think is a safe bet. I introduce with "Potential connections" and end with the whole situation "under review" which implies that there may or may not be a problem, but if so, it is getting taken care of. There isn't a real sense of urgency, but more of concern. I don't know that this would necessarily be a lede story, but it's still very relevant.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
"A prominent human rights lawyer in Beijing says he was abducted, beaten and threatened over the weekend by a gang of men who demanded that he and his family leave the city."
This is a fantastic lede to an article on the top of page A5 of my October 3 New York Times. In "thesis" style, a lede is the focal point of the written piece. Unlike a thesis which requires further supporting paragraphs, however, the lede has all of the information packed into one vital sentence. I think the beauty of a good lede shines when it effectively launches the piece to a variety of audiences while pulling the readers into as though the article was personalized for each individual.
This particular lede is a perfect summary of the article, clearly states the necessary information, and still offers a hint of mystery which engages the reader into the rest of the story. The article illustrates solid hard-news event coverage, especially with two aspects of time-sensitivity. First, because the whole ordeal took place over the weekend. Secondly, the world is closely scrutinizing China in the wake of the upcoming Olympics in Beijing 2008. With that, the reader is presented with concise information, but the lede (and article as a whole) encourages the reader to draw his/her own conclusions and search for more details on the subject.
Nice work, David Barboza
Click here to read article
This is a fantastic lede to an article on the top of page A5 of my October 3 New York Times. In "thesis" style, a lede is the focal point of the written piece. Unlike a thesis which requires further supporting paragraphs, however, the lede has all of the information packed into one vital sentence. I think the beauty of a good lede shines when it effectively launches the piece to a variety of audiences while pulling the readers into as though the article was personalized for each individual.
This particular lede is a perfect summary of the article, clearly states the necessary information, and still offers a hint of mystery which engages the reader into the rest of the story. The article illustrates solid hard-news event coverage, especially with two aspects of time-sensitivity. First, because the whole ordeal took place over the weekend. Secondly, the world is closely scrutinizing China in the wake of the upcoming Olympics in Beijing 2008. With that, the reader is presented with concise information, but the lede (and article as a whole) encourages the reader to draw his/her own conclusions and search for more details on the subject.
Nice work, David Barboza
Click here to read article
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